Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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