Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
