Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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