is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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