there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I understand Curling. That high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
