i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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