never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
