Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can't turn off my feet"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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