Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize