so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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