bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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