just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
