I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
