the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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