when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Drake has all the answers
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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