at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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