i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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