I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
