Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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