I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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