Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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