everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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