I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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