Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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