It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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