The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You made out with two different species that night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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