Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize