hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
