i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
