saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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