Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
