why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You can't just leave with hair like that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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