champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
