I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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