Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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