Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
