Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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