you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
