i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
