I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
