I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
