Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
