so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
