that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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