fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
