its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
