he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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