i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
