ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My feet surprised me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
