of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
