and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
