2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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