i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
