So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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