She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
