Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize