but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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