are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just gargled with NyQuil
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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