Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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