Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize