I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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