please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize