I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
