At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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