If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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