oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
