And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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