So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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