Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize