I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
