therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
