What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I looked at my own cervix.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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